Reclaiming Queer Stories Through Positive Storytelling

When we take a look at the news and media headlines, the words most associated with the LGBTQ+ community and especially Trans/Non-Binary people are often words like “discrimination,” “suicide,” “dysphoria,” and “anguish”. As important as these issues are to focus on, I, as a member of this community, find it sad that our joy and happiness are often overlooked to highlight only our struggles.

While it is true that discrimination is often at the heart of the LGBTQ+ narrative and we must keep the conversations going to be able to fight our battles, that’s not all there is to it . Queer lives are so much more than this; they are real and full of so much happiness that I find it hard to believe that there is no space for it  when telling our stories. 

Positive Storytelling Matters

One of the major challenges about the pessimistic narrative is that our stories are often written by cis/hetero writers for cis/hetero readers. And many times it comes off as justifying our existence. Additionally, stories about Trans people often focus on the coming out process, dysphoria, and the “born in the wrong body” narrative. These stories are told because cis/hetero people cannot relate to them and it helps to paint a picture about why it’s necessary to work to protect the rights of Trans people when us existing should be enough. While those stories are  important to tell, it’s even more important to show what it’s like after those moments once a person has accepted themself  and is living openly as their true identity. 

Additionally, it’s important to show that LGBTQ+ people are not a new phenomenon, even if the acceptance of those identities is. “Through art and literature and historical information, we know that trans and non-binary people have existed for thousands of years,” wrote Katelyn Burns in The Guardian. “In many other cultures that are not bound by conservative western Christian views, people are revered and as seen as higher than and better than those of us who are cisgender people.”  

We as storytellers can rectify this through a simple change from that overused doom and gloom narrative to a new  joyful perspective could actually help us reclaim our lives, our bodies, and our stories. Positive storytelling can show the younger generation that it is okay to live our lives openly and true to ourselves.

The Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness’ podcast episode ``What's The Power of Trans Joy?” is a fantastic example of this. Joyful stories can also help fight the stereotypical cisgender view that Queer folks are a  joke to be laughed at or a threat to be feared. This is especially true when it comes to Trans stories. Check out the amazing documentary, Disclosure, by Laverne Cox to understand this better.

What About the Media

When searching for positive news about the LGBTQ+ community it is so hard to find anything relevant. The media always seems to prioritize the bad over the good. Just in the past few months we have been bombarded with news on the latest anti LGBTQ+ bills that are being voted on all over the world. From the “Don’t Say Gay” bill in Florida and the overwhelming amount of Anti-Trans legislation that is sweeping across the US and  to the UK where I live (specifically the recent news that conversion therapy will not be banned for Trans and Non-Binary people), we just cannot get away from the bad news. Although important, constantly reading about our struggles can make it difficult for our mental health and there has been so much else happening that deserves to be celebrated. 

Let’s Shift the Conversation

It is time to change the conversation and show the world that we are thriving, that we are happy because of who we are and not despite of. It is time for the cis/hetero folks to understand that our happiness is not that different from theirs and we all look to achieve the same things in life, like having a family, getting our dream jobs, meeting someone and falling in love, or simply living and being happy. Our community is more than just pain, there is plenty of euphoria and success too. 

Just think of the unprecedented step forward for Non-Binary people in countries like Mexico, Italy and Colombia, and total bans on conversion therapy in Canada and New Zealand. There's also the increasing number of people identifying as part of the LGBTQ+ community and the record breaking number of LGBTQ+ characters on US TV. Talk about storytelling and the importance of representation!  And if this is not enough, just take a look at all the amazing everyday people who actively tell their stories on platforms like Instagram and TikTok to see how we are thriving and how happy and fulfilling our lives can be. (Here are some of my favorites:  Heather Glazzard Dakota Robin Tabby Lamb Theyrequeer Tommaso Zorzi BecomingJude QueerGarden)

So, let's take a moment to honor our happiness and turn storytelling into an act of joy!

Marley enjoying a weekend in Spain with chosen family

Tips to Help Reframe the Narrative

We’re all a part of the solution to change the narrative. Here are practical ways you can be a part of reframing the narrative:

• Normalize the experience of the LGBTQ+ community. By showing LGBTQ+ people as well-rounded, complex humans in a complex world just like anyone living here on planet Earth, you’re normalizing the experience.  The narrative associated with being Queer as living a life of struggles and hardships just gives power to the people who think that there is something wrong with being different.

• Reject Stereotypes. This includes but goes beyond rejecting the old tropes of the flamboyant gay friend, it’s also rejecting the stereotypes of struggle. For example, the gay couple struggling for acceptance from their community. Think instead to bring in a healthier narrative of LGBTQ+ people living a normal life where the topic is not constantly about their identity. This kind of representation reduces stigma and promotes empathy and understanding. Think ‘Patrick and David’ from Schitt’s Creek or ‘Magnus and Alec’ from Shadowhunters.

• Include Intersectionality. We always talk about the same White stories, there is so much more diversity in our community. Talk about the success stories of Black Trans women, Two Spirits Indegenous people or disabled Queers. Expand the narrative beyond the White queer experience.

• Write with LGBTQ+ People: If you’re cis/hetero especially, don’t just see LGBTQ+ people as the subject of your writing, rather bring them in to help shape the narrative. Don’t just write about them, write with them.

• Share Positive Stories. When amplifying LGBTQ+ issues, include links to positive representation, from books to movies, to personal stories. Make sure to direct readers to more joyful narratives.

• Pay Attention and Learn. Do the research, learn the language, use the appropriate terms, and respect people’s way of referring to themselves. Language is constantly changing, and for many people it’s personal. Continue to learn the nuances of language and approaches that are respectful. You can start by following LGBTQ+ activists and support their work.

• Focus On the Future Generation: Most importantly, when you write, think about the younger generations of LGBTQ+ folks that will find themselves represented in these stories and will be able to see how their future could get better!