Being a Self Starter and Scribente Maternum

If you know me well in my real life—and even if you don’t, you may have gathered this from social media—you know I am a person who likes to stay busy. If you ask my dear homebody spouse, he’ll tell you it’s not his favorite quality about me. But I have always been that person who is not only a part of multiple groups, but I more than likely started said group. For example: I planned my 20th high school reunion a couple years ago (it was awesome if I do say so myself), I helped start a neighborhood parent group a few years ago, and I started two antiracism-related reflection groups this last year. And these are all in my personal life. Geez—writing this makes me realize I may have a problem (she says, sheepishly). 

There’s a theme here, though. That is, when I see something that I want to be a part of, I don’t wait for someone else to do it, I just...start it. I suppose that’s what it means to be a “self starter.

That’s part of how Doerr&Co. came about, and probably comes as no surprise to you that this beautiful business of mine isn’t the only thing I started in this last pandemic year. The other is a writing retreat for moms called Scribente Maternum which is a four-woman self-starting machine of an organization that we launched last February with an inaugural virtual retreat. It all started because the four of us saw something we wanted, so we created it ourselves: a restorative, judgement-free, calming, justice-oriented space away from our parenting and partnering to tap into our creativity as writers.

It all began at the 2019 Association of Writers & Writers Programs conference in Portland where I met Rachel Berg Scherer after a panel she was on and where she met Carla Du Pree after a panel she was on. We connected around the beauty and the unique challenges of being a writer and a mother—where our kids simultaneously fuel our creativity and zap our time and energy. I had attended a panel discussion during that conference about being a parent-writer, but it was really difficult for me to engage in the topic with mostly White, male writers leading the conversation. All I could think about when they responded to questions was “they do not get what it is like to be a mom as the primary/on-call parent doing most of the emotional labor.” 

The frustration I experienced listening to that parent panel turned into conversations that Rachel and I continued as our friendship grew. Then during a random chat in the Spring of 2020 in the middle of Covid, we had an epiphany: we need to hold retreats for writer-moms! Neither of us really thought it would happen as quickly as it did, but over the summer, she brought in her friend Caytie Pohlen-LaClare who owns her own event management business and she encouraged us to do it online. Carla Du Pree then came on board and we were an unstoppable force that really sought to create not only something special for people who identified as moms, but an organization that was rooted in social justice and antiracism. (You can read some of our reflections on this in a Parents.com story we published last February.)

This culminated in the most incredible experience where, over the four Saturdays in February 2021, 50 of us gathered to be in the moment, tap into our creativity, and connect with one another. We spent so much time working on ways to make the experience meaningful and connected in a virtual space and I truly feel like we hit it out of the park. Even as a coordinator and doing behind-the-scenes work on it throughout the month, I came away each week feeling so fulfilled and inspired (I teared up from joy, catharsis, shared energy multiple times during tha retreat). And the fact that 50 people attended when we built it from scratch showed that there was a need.

The October Scribente Maternum Retreat will take place at this beautiful Double Domes home near Minneapolis, MN.

So here we are on our next steps of this amazing Scribente Maternum journey...

I’m writing this all now because we have just announced our inaugural Covid-safe IN-PERSON retreat near Minneapolis for October 1-3, 2021. And because not everyone is ready to travel, we’re offering a virtual retreat on Oct 1-2.

The theme “Remember Your Mother” is inspired by the Joy Harjo poem, Remember. It is a retreat rooted in Indigenous knowledge and energy that is deeply rooted in the maternal. All of us co-founders are on a personal journey to reflect and act on our roles as settler-allies and this  is a part of that work. We will learn from the Sogorea Te’ Land Trust—an Indigenous women led organization that facilitates returning the land back to Indigenous people—and celebrated writer Marcie Rendon. The virtual retreat is free for any Native writer-moms and the in-person retreat includes a significant discount for them.

If you are a writer-mom or know of a writer-mom, we want you to join us. Registration is now open--You can find more about it on our website and we are always here with questions. 

As you can tell, whatever I start (especially with Carla, Rachel and Caytie), we go all in. So here’s to the self-starters out there making the places they want to be in.